


I'm somethin' Hell didn't want.

by DemonicInformant



Category: Rango (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, Human!Jake, Rango - Freeform, introduction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2720498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonicInformant/pseuds/DemonicInformant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who <i>is</i> the legend of the West?</p>
<p>Somethin' dangerous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm somethin' Hell didn't want.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, he's in human form, and yes, he is still as mean as ever.  
> I might make this into something! Not sure yet, seeing as this started out as a starter for a roleplay.  
> Tell me what you guys think! This is my first Rango ''fic''.  
> The songs used are "Desperado" by The Eagles, "Take It Easy" by The Eagles, and "Somethin' Bad" by Miranda Lambert & Carrie Underwood. I own nothing to either artist, nor to the wonderful creators of Rango!
> 
> Also! My Faceclaim for Human!Jake is Rodrigo Calazans. I also don't own him or any of his photos!

_Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger_  
_Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home_  
_And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'_  
_Your prison is walking through this world all alone_

It was hot. Oh so hot. But oh so beautiful out on this wide range. The sunsets lit the sky like diamonds during the evening, and when the moon set, she hung over the land like a guardian. 

_'Like the Spirit of the West...'_

His teeth clicked lightly as he scoffed at the opposing wind, the memory alone tainting his already Hell-scorched mind. His eyes danced over the landscape presented to him, and for a moment, he wished he had never left DiRT. He wished he had never  _lost_ his way back. It would've been oh so nice to visit that stupid  _lizard_ and his water-logged town.  _  
_

_'Named her Mud! Too much water for DiRT, Rattler.'_

Another scoff, another unwelcome memory, and a quiet sigh nearing the sound of a hiss and he was quietly trotting along, just trying to find somewhere to make his claim, somewhere to call home once again.

_'You're welcome back here anytime, Jake. Just uh...keep that...gun a' yours at bay around the little ones?'_

Yeah. Yeah, he could'a done that. He sure as hell could'a done that. But he left. He wanted some bounty he couldn't find even if he was that damned Indian, and now? Now, he was back in prison, doomed to walk the world alone.  _  
_

 

_Take it easy, take it easy_  
_Don't let the sound of your own wheels_ _drive you crazy_  
_Lighten up while you still can,_ _don't even try to understand_  
_Just find a place to make your stand_ _and take it easy_

Ah, he knew that sound. He knew the distinct jingle of spurs, the sharp outlines in his crystal clear vision of buildings, of signs, of  _people_  and oh, if a predator could have been no happier than he now, he would believe it. He tapped his War Horse's side, heard the quiet whinney, and slowly, they started into the small, but prominently busy town. 

 

Eyes. Eyes were on him, and he nearly hissed toward the sources. Women, children, men, anyone and everyone was staring at him now, and oh, that felt good. It felt  _damn_ good to be feared again, to be cowered at the sight of, to be whispered about. He smirked happily beneath his black hat, the dimming sunlight hitting his teeth sharply, and if those two little fangs near the front didn't gleam like gold, he certainly  _felt_ they did. 

 

_The hairs on your arm will stand up._  
_At the terror in each sip and in each sup._  
_For you partake of that last offered cup,_  
_Or disappear into the potter's ground._  
_When the man comes around._

He hitched his horse and started into the saloon silently, posture perfect and his hat tipped to cover his eyes. The moment the double doors swung back, he felt the fear boil like  _blood_ in the room and he nearly inhaled that sweet scent. Oh,  _that_ was more like it.  _That_ was  _truly_ what he missed. He could see hairs standing on end on arms beside him, he could hear shaky swallows, he could smell the hesitation in the men sitting at the bar, and he'd be damned if he didn't chuckle.

 

Generously, he cracked his neck and started toward the bar, not needing to look as stool after stool became available. Oh yes, this was what he wanted. 

 

"W-who are you, stranger?"

 

Like lightning, his eyes danced to the mirror angled to face behind him on the saloon wall, his gaze landing on the poor  _boy_ no more than twenty eight shaking in his boots and watching him like he was aimed to kill. His lips quirked into a smirk again and he dipped his head to the right, eyes sliding shut and his throat pouring out a warm chuckle, one that seemed to shiver through the room like ice. 

 

"...Why, I, poor boy, am what the Devil kicked out of Hell for  _bad_ _behavior._ "

 

_Stand on the bar, stomp your feet, start clapping_  
_Got a real good feeling something bad about to happen_

 

A single footstep and he snapped his angle to the left, that smirk widening and growing more poisonous than before.

 

"Y-you g-g-got a...n-na-name?"

 

"Why don't you call me...Rattlesnake Jake."


End file.
